“Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage – with great patience and careful instruction.” 2 Timothy 4:2 (NIV)
“Correct, rebuke, and encourage” — This text popped up in my personal study time and then again in church the same Sunday. When there is a “coincidence” like this, I have learned to pay attention.
As a teacher, I was OK with the words “correct” and “encourage.” I am confident in knowing I have some training, experience, and skills that help me discern when to enhance student content knowledge or skills development. I can often find ways to positively encourage a discouraged learner.
But, the word “rebuke” stuck there in the middle made me uncomfortable. To a person, especially a female, from my time and generation, “rebuke” was not something I was trained, allowed, or permitted to do. Besides the operative social constraints, ‘rebuke’ suggests clarity of vision, confidence in truth, and authority to challenge someone’s thinking or behavior that I have not always had.
In addition, rebuking done without wisdom can seem harsh and is unlikely to feel like love. I have sometimes been “scolded” by a person with very different perspectives from me, often after the fact. I searched my heart for what lessons could be gained and found few; mostly the rantings of a bitter gossip who did not really have enough positive things to do. Those experiences caused me to discount her points of view and, frankly, to avoid her.
How then to find a wise balance between unhealthy scolding and the wise warning that we are to do? Although I have gained some experiential wisdom and I pray that “my truth” is closely linked to “Truth” or “The Truth,” I have lacked the confidence or authority to actually go so far as to counter a belief that someone else may hold, much less to rebuke a person.
To help me understand how rebuke may be different from scolding or gossip, I compared the words used in various translations of English and the few other languages into which I have a window. English meanings for “rebuke” can carry the sense of “warning” someone possibly for their own sakes or for love of the truth. French echoes the idea of “censoring” the person or action and Mandarin frames the action as a warning or admonishment against future unwise action.
Our words matter; they are “not nothing.” In Speech Act Theory, JL Austin (1962) claims that words perform actions as when a qualified officiant says, “I pronounce you husband and wife”; society agrees that “it is so.” We know to restrain ourselves from irresponsible use of words as in lying or gossiping. Gossips are associated with slanderers, the arrogant, and those who invent ways of doing evil (Romans 1:29-30, NIV). From lack of knowledge or fear of intruding verbally, we may not be properly and humbly prepared to warn others against unwise or incorrect actions. We may engage false modesty or we may fail to care enough to present a balancing point of view when we see someone taking steps toward unwise behavior.
Prayer and preparation will help us discern when and how we should speak. Perhaps our wise and kind words of warning or rebuke will serve as encouragement and feel like love to the person to whom we are listening and speaking.
See also: Speech Acts in which words perform actions (“This court is adjourned” or “I pronounce you husband and wife.”)
http://www.glossary.sil.org/term/speech-act
Susan Olmstead Wang 